BRRRRRRR. IT'S A BIT NIPPY (AND FASCIST).

They said the land would melt and the seas would boil because of manmade global warming and we should therefore kill billions with backward economic policies. But last week data was (very, very, very quietly) released, by the same authorities who had banged the MMGW drum following enormous research grants, that the earth had not warmed since 1997.

So when you next watch the weather forecast don't be surprised to hear something like this.

A Fascist front is gathering over North West Scotland and is slowly moving South East, leaving Scotland covered in a thick blanket of Fascism. We also have another Fascist front moving in from the South Atlantic bringing with it storms of violent Fascism. This will move quickly across Cornwall and Devon, to join with a Fascist front currently over Wales. These two Fascist fronts will form one giant storm of Fascism and move North East, leaving behind it devastation consisting of broken families, broken homes and broken hearts. We are expecting deaths and the emergency services will be needed. This giant storm will meet and join with the Fascist front moving South East from Scotland to envelope the whole of the West of this Disunited Fasicst Kingdom in a mega storm of Fascism. At first this mega storm of Fascism will cause just a few spits and spots of Fascism, particularly on the hills, but as this eventually sorts itself out it will quickly move East so that by the end of the day the whole of the DFK will be underneath and smothered by a mega storm of cold, dark, violent, corrupt Fascism.

Now some viewers have already contacted us about this, expressing their concern, and have found it a bit confusing, because our fathers and grandfathers fought and died against Fascism in World War 2. Well, that's just the way it goes I'm afraid. You get told a pile of stinking bullshit to send you into war to empower a cabal of megalomaniac satanic fascist kiddlie fiddling scum, and you fools always, without fail, fall for it.

Brrrrrr. It's a bit Fascist.

Now back to Pete and Jenny in the warm studio.