PRIVILEGED FASCIST IAIN DUNCAN SMITH BELIEVES

Iain Duncan Smith lives rent-free in a very nice house, with lots of rooms, a swimming pool, tennis courts, and very large grounds to stroll around in. You know, the essential things in life.

Today a cap on benefits has been introduced. It will allegedly save one hundred million pounds (gasps and oooohs) out of a budget of tens of billions. It will force people into work, and has already done so IDS believes. But just a few weeks ago none other than the Office for National Statistics said no link could be found between claimants losing benefits and finding jobs following a trial of the scheme. But what is happening is that families are being uprooted out of London and the South East and relocated to places where living is cheaper, places like Hull.

So what, many ask.

Let's go back in time. Not that far back actually, to 2007. Banks had deliberately inflated a massive credit bubble and incurred massive gambling debts through derivatives. We bailed them out. The bankers got their bonuses, not jail time. Meanwhile the muggins British taxpayer is suffering Bilderberg fascist Oiksterity to pay off the debts of the banks. One sinister scheme to save money is the Liverpool Care Pathway. Thankfully that is now being abolished. The LCP had evolved into a form of grotesque euthanasia in which at the slightest hint of death you were denied food and water, without consultation with your family, and allowed to die a slow horrible death, thus fulfilling the prophecy of death. It really was a grotesque system, and whoever thought it up should be put on the LCP.

And meanwhile, plans to claw back unpaid tax from tax dodgers who have parked their loot in Switzerland have been torpedoed by a 'finding' that...can you guess? Yep. Such a scheme would be 'unworkable'! They said they could claw back £3 billion in this scheme. But not anymore. That's another big hole to fill by picking on the poor. What dastardly scheme will they come up with to fill that hole?

But back to IDS.

IDS 'believes'. So there, ONS! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it!

IDS 'believes'.

That's all that matters.

IDS 'believes'.

I can feel a song coming on...

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Oh, Iain was a fascist
A privileged one at that
He introduced the bedroom tax
To force families to scat

But then one poor grandmother
Called Stephanie Bottrill
Walked onto a motorway
And became one more roadkill.

[Chorus]
Oh, IDS believes
Yes, IDS believes
That fascism really works
He's just another privileged burk

IDS believes
Yes, IDS believes
Oiksterity is not for him
It's just for you and me