DEAR COLEEN

Have you read this letter to Agony Aunt Coleen Nolan?

Dear Coleen

I'm getting rather concerned about my husband.

First he lets some violent extremist Muslims loose in Libya, supporting them with our RAF and SAS, who then kill Colonel Gaddafi even though Gaddafi was giving the names of those violent extremist muslims to our MI6.

He then tries to do the same in Syria, but it's not worked out how he wanted, so he is becoming rather depressed.

But he also uses armed police to seal off a wood just so he can take it all out on and kill pigeons in secret!

And now my friends are telling me that there are photographs of him with his thingy in a pig's mouth, which if true would make him an easy target for blackmail. But I sat down with him last night after putting the kids to bed and asked him about this pig story, and he denies it all, but he is not going to prosecute the gossipmongers because he says he is "too busy".

But if he has nothing hide then he has nothing to fear, doesn't he?

Why doesn't he prosecute them for slander, if it was all lies? Because I would. Just think what all the gossip will do to our children?

I'm losing all respect for my husband. He is becoming a right fascist bastard.

What should I do?

Yours truly

Samantha from the Chipping Snorton set.

Coleen's advice is succinct:

Report the sociopath to the police.

And get out of your marriage ASAP!!