BREAKING : ALEX JONES TO ASSIST TRUMP ECONOMY BY MANUFACTURING ALEX JONES STICK-ON BEARDS MADE IN AMERICA

You too will soon be able to look like Alex Jones with a Stick-On Alex Jones Beard.

You will be able to stalk people you dislike in total anonymity. Use surveillance devices to spy on people you dislike. And ignore court orders. All you will need is your Stick-On Alex Jones Beard and corruption and creepiness come free!

And what's more, you can be guaranteed that it will, unlike Ivanka's merchandise, be Made in 'Murica.

So don't delay. Pre-order today!