SO WHO HAS ME UNDER SURVEILLANCE AND FOR WHAT PURPOSE?

OK.

So I suggest a theory which explains sun spots and the solar dynamo, and my sister's house is professionally burgled, and Garth Icke mocks me for that burglary.  

And today, after finding a very small hole in the celing of my bedroom, and filling it with toilet paper, while I am out a heavy chair is turned upside down in the back garden.

This is the truth. I am not making this up.

Who?

Why?

What?