BREAKING : ISLAM SET TO TAKE CONTROL OF GREAT BRITAIN THROUGH CAKE BOMBS

The winner of The Great British Bake Off 2015 is...Nadiya Hussain!!

Be careful Britain. Her subsequent cook book may contain recipes for cake bombs.

Liz has reacted by deciding to give her annual Christmas message from...Finsbury Park mosque. After we will be required to sing the new national anthem:

God save our gracious Queen
Long live our noble Queen
Allah u Akbar
Send her victorious
Happy and glorious
Long to reign o'er us
Allah u Akbar

But in the meantime, before you go to sleep, look under your bed, because either a Muslim or Comrade Corbyn may be lurking with intent under your bed.

So sleep tight everybody.

And remember: be absolutely fucking terrified!!

Because the real terrorists are MI5...who allowed Michael Adebalajo to preach Jihad against Assad before he tried to saw the head off Lee Rigby (who according to Chris Spivey never existed).