PRESIDENT DONALD "LOCKED AND LOADED" J TRUMP

This is the guy who was a brilliant athlete in college, but when the draft for Vietnam came he came suddenly developed 'heel spurs', avoided the draft, and when the war was over those 'heel spurs' suddenly disappeared so that Trump could go to Studio 54 and indulge in all the debauchery of whatever event his "greatest friend", the deep, dark CIA agent Roy Cohn had organised.