Trump's first full day in office.
His schedule for that day has just broke:
0900 - arrest the bankers
1100 - arrest Henry Kissinger, David Rockefeller
1300 - yuuuge lunch
1500 - announce full open investigation into 9/11
1600 - underage-sex-and-cocaine party
2000 - cup of cocoa with Melania
2100 - bedtime, Melania to read Donald a cute bedtime story (yet to be selected)
2130 - a good and well-earned sleep to recover from a hard day's work fighting the bad guys
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