BREAKING : BRITISH GOVERNMENT ANNOUNCES NEW TEST FOR COVID-19 AND NEW REGULATIONS

The British Government has just announced a new test for Covid-19 which they believe is extremely fast and 100% accurate.

If you are still alive, have a pulse and are breathing then you have Covid-19 and must take a vaccine forever, quarantine for 21 days (forever), and wear a mask at all times (forever). Otherwise you will lose your job, be denied healthcare and benefits, be denied access to shops, and be poisoned.

And if you are dead then you died of Covid-19, therefore still have Covid-19 and must quarantine for 21 days in your coffin/casket. But you must still wear a mask at all times over your mouth, nose, but also over your eyes and ears. Just in case. And still need to be vaccinated, annually, and your remains exhumed for your annual booster. Coz you never know. Right?

So, in summary:

1. if you are alive then you have Covid-19;
2. and if you are dead then you died of Covid-19 and will still have Covid-19 and are breathing it out, even though you are not breathing, hence the face mask to stop you breathing it out and spreading it around, even though you are dead, lying alone in a coffin/casket, in a cold, dark, dead room, with nobody alive around. Coz we can't have you spreading it to other corpses. Can we?
   

Even though excess deaths are virtually zero. Coz only those who are aged with at least 2 serious life-threatening conditions already die, leading to a survival rate of very, very, very close to 100%.